Learning from Motherly Love

In preparation to read The Giver, we recently dissected George Ella Lyons' poem "Where I'm From." After analyzing some the imagery, we started work on our own poems. While modeling and sharing one of my drafts with the kids, I paid homage to my parents with these lines:

I am from Joe and Karen,

from the man who could say it all with the look and a woman who turned an impressive shade of crimson while counting to three.

Kids shared connections about their own parents and we all laughed while talking about how these memories influence who we are as individuals. After the discussion, I was thinking a lot about where I am in my life and my career. Some say it's scary when you start becoming your parents, but I would respectively disagree. This moment of clarity gave me the chance to step back to reflect on the five most important lessons that I have learned from one of the best teachers I know: my mom

(5) Nothing replaces being a good listener: If you have met me and my mother, then you know that I inherited her gift of gab. Yet, as I think back on some of my toughest years in school (ironically seventh grade ranks right up there), I realize that my mom was always there, not to talk, just to listen. Through the good and the bad days, she would sit at the island while I did my homework and just listen. Now, whenever I'm in the middle of a difficult conversation with a kid, I stop and think back to those afternoons at the island and remind myself that before I work towards a solution, I have to first completely understand where my student is coming from. And while that isn't always easy in the often irrational world of seventh graders, it's completely impossible if I'm not good at listening to begin with. 

(4) We should all "care more about the effort grade": My mom and dad have always been proud of me and always encouraged me to just try my absolute best and take risks. We now live in a world where kids are constantly being over-scheduled and their individuality is being under-valued. My parents taught me the value of your personal best and that is something that I strive to instill in my students. Because ultimately, we should be encouraging kids to figure out what it looks like when they - as individuals - give everything they have to something that matters to them.  

(3) It's ok to be angry: I often joke with my students that when they get "the look" from me, that is my dad. When my face gets a little red and the volume spikes up a little bit, that is my mom. Ultimately my mom's occasional frustration with us (for the record, it was usually my sisters who gave her the red face) comes from a place of love and high expectations. That's what I remember when trying to get a "you're better than this" vibe to a class during sixth or seventh period on a Friday afternoon. In fact, I contend that a teacher who doesn't occasionally express frustration to his or her students either (a) doesn't have high enough expectations or (b) isn't completely honest with his or her students. 

My mom's before and after photos. I'm so proud of her.

(2) Set Goals: And, no I'm not talking about data-driven, contrived "SMART goals" that some people think have a better chance of "saving" education than actually giving teacher time to genuinely collaborate with each other and develop meaningful connections with kids. I'm talking about goals of true, sincere passion and commitment, the kinds of goals that can truly change your life. As a child I watched my mother battle obesity until she finally said enough. Right around the time I was entering high school, my mom started Weight Watchers and - by my junior year - she had lost 80 pounds. To this day she not only maintains the weight loss, but she inspires and supports others by working at Weight Watchers. But she doesn't even stop there. She's ran in 5ks and a half-marathon through the Magic Kingdom. I'm pretty sure that - if provoked - she could beat me up. 

Of course we couldn't do a normal mother-son dance!

(1) Laugh at yourself: If you can't do this, don't even attempt teaching. Our work is messy. We make mistakes; we are human. But after all is said and done, the power to laugh at yourself is not only a necessary survival tool, but a vital component of learning and growing. Grit is the new buzz word in education and I think if we truly want kids to develop this inherent perseverance, we first have to teach them how to make mistakes, laugh and learn from them. If laughing at yourself was a course of study, my mom would have her Ph.D. Just watching the way she laughs and learns has always encouraged me to put myself out there, take risks and not worry about what others think. She has been a lifelong model of self-improvement and personal growth. 

So thank you, Mum. You have not only impacted my life but provided me with the tools to impact the lives of the seventh graders I have the privilege of working with every day. 

And thank you to all of the mom's out there who serve as a constant reminder that sometimes the most effective teachers don't have classrooms or lesson plans, they just listen and let their actions do the talking (even though my mom still chooses to talk a lot, too). 

Happy Mother's Day!

"If I get an 'A' I know I'm Fine"

Middle schoolers are notorious for asking "when are we ever going to need this?" This year, I've decided to take a crack at this question by constantly discussing how all of the skills that we focus on in each unit spiral and build. Although each genre has specific elements that make it unique, there are basic elements that all pieces must have to be successful and - most importantly - entertaining to read.

Now, my feedback on writing is geared towards overall skill mastery and personal growth. With every major piece I use the voice memo app on my phone to create and email a brief recording of some feedback that talks about individual next steps and trends to be aware of. As part of our interdisciplinary team goal (I should stop here and say I have the BEST team around...so supportive of literacy in every class and so willing to collaborate all of the time), we have worked on encouraging self-reflective practices that aren't just important for academic success; they're vital life skills. Kids are frequently reviewing previous work, identifying writing trends, and talking about their growth. The most important life lesson to take away from writing is that we can always get better; we should always look for ways to improve.

But what does a report card really tell us? 

And, yet, no matter how much progress kids make, no matter how proud they are of themselves, no matter how good they feel, it all comes down to one, little, letter. Every time a rubric is returned, the eyes quickly move to the performance grade, then the revision grade, then to their neighbor's paper. Even all of the above-mentioned self-assessment tools are just a band-aid on this wound. It's not the kids' fault; I don't blame them. They are a product of their environment, but it's an environment that has to change if we ever want to truly motivate every kid and make every kid feel successful. 

Over April break, I proposed a portfolio-based writing assessment to pilot with one class over the fourth quarter. I'm very fortunate to work for a principal that encourages us to challenge the status quo. Instead of assigning grades to each piece, students will be assessed based on a portfolio of work from the year that demonstrates their skills based on yearlong writing expectations. The process is explained in more detail in this email that was sent home to parents. 

When I presented the idea to the group that my principal and I selected, I was relieved, impressed, and inspired by their responses. Sure they had questions about the process, but many of them expressed that they knew they were too obsessed with grades and they seemed hopeful that removing the grades could help them focus on learning and growing. Parents have also responded with positive feedback, some connecting to their own experiences as a student.

An excerpt from one parent's response to my email on the portfolio-based system.

Even though this is just a pilot and I still have to report their performance/growth as a letter grade, I hope that just relieving the pressure of a grade on each piece shifts the focus to getting better and better every time. Ultimately, isn't that what learning (and life) is all about? One student did defend the importance of grades, saying "but if I get an 'A', I'm know I'm fine; I'm good. If I get a 'C' then I know I need to pick it up." This quote is all the motivation I need. By the time we reach the end of June, I hope this student will know more about what his 'A' really looks like than even I do.